Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Life with an Anal Retentive Husband

Do you any of you have an anal retentive husband or partner? I DO! Although, he is anal about most things and others he isn't. It is strange. When I want to clean the house, he just wants to sweep the floor and be done with it. I HAVE to sweep the floor and then mop it...and once I start I get a bit anal and can spend a good hour on just ONE room.
Anyway - we are talking about my husband NOT me. There are good points to his analness...
1. I NEVER have to do laundry because it HAS to be done HIS way. And folding HIS clothes, FORGET IT! He has to fold his T-shirts a certain way {HIS T-SHIRTS, people!!!} and his socks have to be tied a certain way {socks, seriously??}.
2. If I don't feel like doing the dishes, I can just leave them until the morning and he will do it as soon as he gets up! {Every morning!} Needless to say, he does the dishes most of the time. : )
3. If I don't want to pick up after myself, I can assure you that everything will be picked up for me by the next morning. This includes the little piece of paper that I have made notes on and need to keep...he throws it away! I have gotten in the habit now of telling him "Hey, baby. Look over here, I NEED THIS PIECE OF PAPER! See? Please DO NOT THROW it away." Sometimes he is listening and sometimes not...
4. I can ALWAYS count on him to have checked all the doors before going to bed to ensure they are locked. SO, I always feel safe! Last night we ran to Bed, Bath and Beyond to buy a crockpot. After he turned the alarm on and we ran out the door, I said "You don't need to lock the top lock. We will be right back." I looked over, he had already locked the bottom AND the top lock!
5. I NEVER have to worry if he left a window open before leaving for work. THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN...Are you crazy! Just this past Sunday, we were going to the market for some groceries and were going to be gone about 30 minutes. It was such an awesome day outside, we had all the windows open. He kept asking me, "Do you think we should close the windows? Do you think it will be okay?" All the while he was getting bursts of anxiety each time he would ask. So, I said "I think it will be ok. I mean, we are only going to be gone for like 30 minutes. But, I know you will feel better if we close them." So we what do you think we did, we closed them, OF COURSE.
I like his analness mostly. Our house always stays picked up and straightened. But there are times like THIS MORNING when I want to shake him up a bit and tell him to RELAX!
This happens quite often...I have my hair dryer next to my sink in the bathroom {which I use daily}, I unplug MY toothbrush every morning in order to plug in the hair dryer. I usually dry my hair a bit and then check my email and dry it again, just before I leave. This morning I went in to finish getting dressed and to dry my hair for the last time. I turned the dryer on and nothing happened! Then the plug comes tumbling down. I said "DAMNIT, Chad!" He just laughed. {We have had THIS conversation over and over. "Let me just get out of the house before you feel the need to unplug the hair dryer, ok?"}
Last night I was reading for school and I left the book on the coffee table because I knew this morning, I was going to grab it and put it in my bag to take to work {God forbid!}. I was getting ready to grab the book when I noticed it wasn't there...With exasperation, "BABY! What the hell did you do with my book??!!" Again, he started laughing and said "I put it on the bookshelf." "Come on, baby. Seriously! I planned this out. I KNEW I was going to take it to work with me today. THAT'S why I left it on the coffee table!"
With these stories, you would think I am a complete SLOB and he is constantly cleaning up after me! NOT TRUE! I am very tidy...this just shows how anal he is... : )
Two funny things that he does that I, of course, have to make fun of are...
EVERY time he gets into his car, he checks to make SURE all switches are their OFF positon. {Reminder: he JUST did this BEFORE he got out of his car...you would think he would remember that when he got out of the car everything was OFF...But NO - he has to check it again!} Whenever he drives my car and I get in to drive the next day...my radio is OFF.
Secondly, I will put a DVD (for example) on the table - in a specific place. I will come back to it and he has moved it slightly! It HAS to be in JUST the RIGHT spot. Hilarious!
Living with an anal retentive husband makes for lots of jokes and quite a bit of frustration. But, of course, I love him - anal or not!

19 comments:

...love Maegan said...

Oh, that Mr. Brown ...I'm wondering after reading this if there's a bit more OCD than anal retention ...lol. Although I like everything in it's home/place too ...but you know my husband doesn't think anything has a home ...so be happy you don't have to pick up after your husband CONSTANTLY!!!!

Scarlett said...

I thought I was the only one with an OCD hubby. I agree that some of the time it is nice, but it often drives me batty!!

Still loving the blog. :)

The Stiletto Effect said...

lol

~alison said...

Yay! Scarlett. I am so glad you are commenting!!

Rachel said...

he has OCD like me; I hate things on my counteck tnd I am weird like that too; except I make my husband check the locks...baby is the door locked...did you lock it?

Scarlett said...

Let's see if I can get my pic on here.

Scarlett said...

Yay! I'm a blogging genius.

You seriously have me considering trying my own blog. Of course, mine would be about the most boring life on the planet!

WendyB said...

An anal-retentive person wouldn't be able to be around me for more than 30 minutes. I let things lay where they fall.

Candace said...

What I would give to have my husband go around each night to lock the doors....never happens! I am amazed though, how he always screws the top back done on a mustard bottle, right after he uses it...even though he knows I will be using it next...yes a strange thing to mention, but I'm thinking...you can't lock the doors (which should be important), but you got the top of the mustard container down pact.

Thanks for the humoring post. I got a kick out of it. :)

lisaslovlies said...

Alison, your husband sounds lovely! I would not mind a bit of ana retentivness in mine. He is crazy about going to the dump, he actually get's a bit of a high after dumping our trash off. He also must have a towel hanging on the rack right near the shower so he can grab the towel before stepping out of the shower. Oh, and he leaves is nicotine gum (he's been chewing it forever) everywhere! Little wads of gum, nice huh? Oh, gosh I could go on and on. Thanks for the great post Alison!

dolcechic said...

I need to find an anal retentive guy...I hate picking up after myself. This might be the answers to all my prayers lol!

trailerparkbarbie said...

My husband invented the term anal retentive. And, not at all in a good way. He doesn't help around the house at all.
But, here is what he does do....

If moving furniture or large objects around, he actually gets out a tape measure and measures each side at least a half dozen times to make sure that whatever is lined PERFECTLY! He drive me nuts doing this. So, to soothe my savage spirit, as soon as he leaves the room, I move it just a teeny bit so that it is no longer PERFECT! I cannot live in a perfect world!

Hey....wanna swap husbands for a while? I guarantee that he will measure every appliance and piece of furniture in your house for ya.

~alison said...

Trailer Park - Hilarious! Let's swap, I'm game.

LENORENEVERMORE said...

advantages & disadvantages...hmmm...
LOVE covers all multitudes of flwas indeed! Enjoying your posts dear...
Happy Autumn to you & hubby!
;)

Miss Anne said...

My partner is exactly the same way.

Love her no matter what (even tho sometimes i could kill her ha!)

you and i sound alot alike!

thx for adding yourself to my following list!

:) enter into the contest!!! :)

Vanessa said...

Haha you just described my husband!!

Charles Taylor said...

He must not read your blog. In your profile you wrote "absolutely in love my husband". You left out with.

Anonymous said...

My husband exactally but even more so! I've been with him 40 years and should be used to it, but sometimes I just freaking lose it!!! He's retired now and driving me insane-thank God for my girlfriends. Barbara

CS said...

Heh
One spouse is usually like that